I have been asked to make a guest appearance on my blog every once and a while so I thought I would stop in and say hello. School has kept me busy and a way from most of you but I am proud to say I earned a 3.90 so that made it worth it. Let’s get down to business.
People have been asking me (and perhaps you are asking yourself) how do I know if a homeless man is just crazy or DANGEROUSLY crazy. So here is the top 10 signs to tell if your homeless man is crazy or might be dangerous. Memorize this list!
1) Is he speaking a language that has not been heard by human ears before? DANGEROUS!
2) Does he have on shorts over 7 pairs of pants? Just crazy.
3) Does his face look like that of a small cat mixed up by a blender? DANGEROUS!
4) Can he make things float with his mind? Like your wallet? DANGEROUS!
5)Is he carrying a old samurai sword, which engraved upon it is Japanese writing and a dragon? Crazy but use caution when approaching, he could be a samurai in disguise which can be more deadly then a homeless man. Please see my list: knowing if a samurai is deadly for further information.
6) Is he asking for money, your soul, or your first born child? Money-crazy, Soul-use caution, first born child- DANGEROUS!
7) Is he dressed like a pirate but is doing palates in the street next to a stack of plates? DANGEROUS!
8) Does he already know your name, birthday, favorite color, and what you are thinking right that second? DANGEROUS! (This could be an alien, so use extreme caution with this type)
9) Does he/she look just like you in the future? Probably crazy, but I would talk to him/her because it may be a future you trying to warn you or it may be an omen of things to come. In ancient days people would see their face on the face of the dying as a prophecy of how they will die. So beware that it could be that option also.
10) Does he have you at gunpoint? Real gun–DANGEROUS! Water gun- Crazy but there could be acid in the gun so use caution.
That is my list, please print it off and memorize the contents. Then destroy the printed version, we can’t let the homeless know that we are on to them. If you have any questions, stories or would like to see future lists please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Disclosure: I realize that not all homeless fall into two categories of crazy and dangerous, there are those who need genuine help. I am not writing about them, I am writing about the crazy dangerous ones. For more information on helping and volunteering to help the ones in need please visit this website.