Monthly Archives: January 2009

Rules of the Homeless

Hello everyone-

I have been asked to make a guest appearance on my blog every once and a while so I thought I would stop in and say hello. School has kept me busy and a way from most of you but I am proud to say I earned a 3.90 so that made it worth it. Let’s get down to business.

People have been asking me (and perhaps you are asking yourself) how do I know if a homeless man is just crazy or DANGEROUSLY crazy. So here is the top 10 signs to tell if your homeless man is crazy or might be dangerous. Memorize this list!

1) Is he speaking a language that has not been heard by human ears before? DANGEROUS!
2) Does he have on shorts over 7 pairs of pants? Just crazy.
3) Does his face look like that of a small cat mixed up by a blender? DANGEROUS!
4) Can he make things float with his mind? Like your wallet? DANGEROUS!
5)Is he carrying a old samurai sword, which engraved upon it is Japanese writing and a dragon? Crazy but use caution when approaching, he could be a samurai in disguise which can be more deadly then a homeless man. Please see my list: knowing if a samurai is deadly for further information.
6) Is he asking for money, your soul, or your first born child? Money-crazy, Soul-use caution, first born child- DANGEROUS!
7) Is he dressed like a pirate but is doing palates in the street next to a stack of plates? DANGEROUS!
8) Does he already know your name, birthday, favorite color, and what you are thinking right that second? DANGEROUS! (This could be an alien, so use extreme caution with this type)
9) Does he/she look just like you in the future? Probably crazy, but I would talk to him/her because it may be a future you trying to warn you or it may be an omen of things to come. In ancient days people would see their face on the face of the dying as a prophecy of how they will die. So beware that it could be that option also.
10) Does he have you at gunpoint? Real gun–DANGEROUS! Water gun- Crazy but there could be acid in the gun so use caution.

That is my list, please print it off and memorize the contents. Then destroy the printed version, we can’t let the homeless know that we are on to them. If you have any questions, stories or would like to see future lists please email me at melvinfloyd.batman@gmail.com

Disclosure: I realize that not all homeless fall into two categories of crazy and dangerous, there are those who need genuine help. I am not writing about them, I am writing about the crazy dangerous ones. For more information on helping and volunteering to help the ones in need please visit this website.

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Wow, long time gone

Wow, what a long time since I have been here to write. Ironically school has taken up a lot of my time. My last post was just days before school started and now my new post is just days after.

Well i am not going to leave a lengthy one today. There has been lots of good stuff since I last posted. The latter half of 2009, while busy, produced some awesome things.
Batman comics gave us both Heart of Hush (awesome!) and Batman RIP (awesome in it’s own unique way) Heart of Hush was Paul Dini and Dustin Nguyen and it was exceptional. Pick it up and read it if you don’t believe me. Batman RIP was awesome but it wasn’t as big event as DC comics would like you to believe and the aftermath may or may not be worth the story. Grant Morrison and Tony Daniel both did awesome work it’s just it wasn’t any more earth shaking then Heart of Hush.

I also found an enjoyment in a new sort of comedy. Both Flight of the Conchords and John Hodgman have given me a sort of renewed joy in humor that previously was held with Stephen Colbert over a year ago. Conchords is a great show from HBO and Hodgman is a hilarious book. Get them both!

Heroes sucked
Smallville was awesome.
Bizarre twist on those two from a year ago.Go figure. Office is back to where is should be and 30 rock is still great. Overall it’s been a good 08.

Now starting with lost we will see what 09 has to offer!