I’ve got a serious problem at my house.

I think I am having an issue with an animal at my house. The thought first came to me while I was making some eggs on the stove. I cracked an egg and went to pour it into my frying pan when all the sudden the egg white was gone. It happened so fast that I couldn’t believe it. 

I turned around to look behind me and there in the corner of the ceiling and wall a ninja sat hooked by some grappling device. He was chewing the runny egg whites which were dripping everywhere. I grabbed a magazine and rolled it real tight. I’ve always had a fear of ninjas, ever since I was a younger, when I opened a cupboard to get a glass and a ninja came jumping out at my face. But this was no time to be scared, this was a time to get things done.

Slowly walking up to him, so as not to startle him, I swung the magazine right at his head, but he was quick. He started jumping all over the place. He was so silent, if I hadn’t been in a killing mood, I would’ve taken a moment to marvel over nature and how it could make something so beautiful. 

I heard my wife open the bathroom door, but so did the ninja. He threw a little ball and smoke filled the room. As she came in the smoke cleared and the ninja was gone. I tried to convince her, I mean, she had seen the smoke, she had to believe me. She just pointed to my eggs which were burning on the stove. “That’s the source of your smoke”, she said. 

I moved to the kitchen sink to run my eggs under some water. Looking out the window in my backyard, I saw the tracks the ninja made crawling under my deck. I knew where his home was, maybe I could get a guy in here to spray or something. But just as I thought that, a throwing star came flying at my window and stopped solid in the wooden window frame outside. Whether he had missed on accident or on purpose, I got his message. I realized then, that I had a serious ninja issue. 

End of part 1.

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