Monthly Archives: June 2015

Deodorant still missing; authorities baffled! 

The deodorant that disappeared yesterday morning is still missing after over 24 hours. The deodorant was last seen being carried from the bathroom by 16 month old Parker Meidell. When asked about the missing deodorant Parker had this to say, “Ba, ba, ba!”, while pointing at a ball. 

The deodorant’s owner Travis Meidell is worried about what the future will hold if his deodorant remains missing, “I’ve got a busy work week coming up and the weather is really hot. I can’t afford to go another day without my swagger!” 

  
When asked about buying a new one Travis had this to say, “Well, I mean I just bought this but I guess, yeah, I’d have to do that. It’s like $4.99 though.” 

Travis’ wife Tia seemed much more optimistic about the deodorant being found. “It’s bound to turn up”, she said, “and in the meantime he’s welcome to use mine.” 

Travis replied, “that [he’d] rather die!”

As of press time though Travis had found that he liked smelling like his wife’s “whipped cocoa butter” deodorant and was no longer sure if he cared to find his Old Spice. 

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Amazing! This man picked up every penny he ever saw and now look what he’s bought with them!

After over thirty years of scooping pennies off streets, bus floors and in one case, out of an elementary school urinal, local Seattle-ite Travis Meidell has finally decided to count all those pennies and the results will astound you.

“I’ve always said, ‘Travis you’re never to rich to stop and scoop up some pennies”, said Meidell, “even if that means reaching your hand into a bowl of urine because you’re afraid a flush might take the pennies with it.”

You could practically feel the excitement buzzing in the air as Travis counted up the 30-years worth of pennies: “77, 78 and 79. 79 cents!”

Cheers erupted as this pillar of the community showed everyone that a penny saved truly is a penny earned… Even if that means hoping your friends don’t notice you reaching into a bowl of piss for less than a nickel.

“Tonight, we’re buying a generic brand pack of hot dogs!”, Travis said as he cried hugging his family.

Faith in humanity restored.