Dear tall blonde Travis,
So I didn’t want to bring this up but I am afraid I just can’t let it slide. I had a dream last night in which we were in high school and you were dating Emma Stone. You know that she is my celebrity main-squeeze and it is entirely inappropriate that you would even think of dating her. Oh and before you start telling me that this was my dream and you had no control, I am pretty sure there was a study done at some university somewhere that talked about how you can influence your friend’s dreams by little things you say or do. Obviously some passing comment informed my subconscious about your devious intentions with my Emma.