Tag Archives: Tia

The most intense 4 seconds you’ll read all day

For as long as I can remember, my showers have been a musical numbers. Not just singing but listening to the music as well. There’s just something about cleaning off the dirt and grime while jamming to some sweet tunes. In recent years, as sleeping babies and napping toddlers have taken over my life, my nude-music time has become fewer and farther between.

But that’s okay because it makes the times I can listen to music all the sweeter and I rock even harder. This is what brings us to our four seconds. I was jamming really loud while Tia and Simon made breakfast with Parker watching them. I had left the laptop sitting outside the bathroom door on a tiny chair. I was in our room preparing to get dressed. I was about as far from the laptop as you could be. I was still in my towel when I heard it.

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150 thank you’s to Ty and Jeanie

So I haven’t written much for a week and that’s really more a result of laziness than lack of time. It’s true that we added an additional member to this family with Parker but we also had Tia’s parents in town to help us balance out the chaos and what help they were.

In fact, I would be lying if I didn’t say that Tia’s mom and dad basically ran this place for the last week. They did shopping, cleaning, helping with Simon, Parker, etc. I am not very good with “Thank you’s” in person but I am okay writing them and then sharing them with the world. So that’s what I am going to do. 150 Thank you’s to Ty and Jeanie.
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The story of Parker’s birth

Well let’s talk about how Parker was born and how it was one of the craziest things of my life. But to fully understand the insanity of it, you have to realize that when we had Simon it was one of the easiest, longest and most laid back events of my life. Simon took a whopping 22 hours to be born and during the waiting time for that, Tia got all dooped up before the pain came and I read an entire book. Simon was so set on never coming out that they almost had to do a c-section to get him out. So when we began planning for Parker we had that entire event in mind.

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Three things you can find in Simon’s bed that will remind you of me


It’s 5:30 in the morning. We’re on week three of Simon waking up at this ungodly hour. Tia and I have been taking turns staying up but frankly neither of us is in the best position to deal with it. Tia is literally about to explode with a child and I’m… well I’m tired. It sounds terrible to say but at least Tia can get a nap during the day. Once I wake up at 5:30 there is no going back. I should delete this paragraph because I sound like a tool. Eh, it’s too early to delete.

Usually, Simon has no good reason for getting up this early. Usually, it’s just him laying in bed shouting “Mom” or “Dad” or sometimes even “Thomas”. He’s referring to Thomas the Tank Engine and not Tomas our manservant. We don’t let Tomas deal with Simon, we’ve got our Nanny Marylyn for that. I think her name is Marylyn. So hard to keep track of all the help. But I digress.

So typically he has no good reason for being awake but this morning his reason was justified. All over his pants. You see Simon had the largest diaper I have ever seen. It looked like he didn’t spend anytime sleeping, just a whole night of pooping. It required both Tia and I to get in on clean up duty. I held Simon’s legs to clean him and he was continually apologizing which you know what that leads to. I even told him it’s not his fault to which he began repeating, “my fault”. Yes once again we appeared as abusive parents as Simon whimpered, “I am sorry. My fault.”

So now Simon is all cleaned up and sitting in the living room watching Finding Nemo and Tia and I just got done changing his sheets. I wasn’t joking when I said this was like Poopmagedon. If we had let this sit longer, this poop might have become self aware. But I just did a poop post so this isn’t about poop. I don’t want this to look like a nine year old kid’s blog.

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The most depressing Valentine’s Day post you’ll read four days after Valentine’s.

This past Friday was Valentine’s Day and since my wife is 38 weeks heavy with child, her idea of a good time was staying home and eating Chinese food and watching a James Bond movie (this is my idea of a good time every day, so I was cool with it). But prior to our watching of Moonraker (go easy, we’re going chronological here, it couldn’t be avoided) we spent some time playing with Simon before we put him to bed. As I sat there watching Simon excitedly open a Valentine from my Mom, I began thinking about all the heartbreak this poor little guy is going to go through in his life. Right now it’s all about candy and toys but in a few years, he’s going to be liking girls and giving and receiving Valentines and soon enough his little heart will be broken. How do I know this? Because it’s happened to me before him.

Three very memorable times.

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